Silent No More

Hush, it's not important.

Bite my tongue really hard.

Make it bleed a little more

Make it bleed like my heart.

So, I spoke the truth

But they believed only lies.

Laughing and condescending

Marking what is mine.

So I learned to keep quiet

This storm raging within.

So, you don't know my past

You don't know their sins.

I don't think you can handle it

But you would probably mark it off.

I have kept my secrets

And it's made my soul hard.  

There's a razor thin line

Between love and hate.

What scares me the most

Is when that line breaks.

Sometimes, you think I'm kidding

But I've faced the fire.

Risen from the ashes

Faced a dragon's ire.

I've felt the slap of wet leather

snapping against my skin.

I've been lost in my own mind

To protect this tough skin.

I've shivered and I've quaked

Looking over my shoulder.

Somewhere this made me hard

Somewhere this made me older.

I've suffered punishment for others

And I've sacrificed myself.

But I'm supposed to forget that

And put it on the shelf.

I've pulled myself up

And faced the devils in my life.

I've suffered by myself.

While others remained blind.

They don't want to see what happened.

They want their happy worlds.

They don't want to face the eyes

of a damaged and jaded girl.

But what's damaged me the most

Is my past not being important.

Unable to speak about it.

Being told to get over it.

How am I to do that?

When it is being ignored.
So how am I to face it
When it's blackening me to my core?
When everyone is okay but me
What am I doing it for?
The only answer I have
Is to be silent no more.

The Gray

A breath in, a breath out

This is where I'm at peace

Neither light nor dark

Though both remain a part of me.

I tried to live in only one

but it was torture to my soul.

I tried to feel lifted

But then, found no place to go.

Here I feel embraced

by both parts of myself.

A perfect mixture

of what you'd call heaven and hell.

But I don't call them that

Not ever anymore.

I just call it me

in my purest form. 

A foot in the dark

A foot in the light.

For once in my life

Everything seems right.

Embracing that power

Where black and white blend.

Allowing my emotions there

And finally beginning to mend.

This isn't where I kneel

I stand and I am brave.

This is the purest me

When I'm standing balanced in the gray

The Dark

I know it's hard to understand

How the dark can bring me peace.

I know it can be viewed as evil

But it has hidden me.

Monsters in the world are real

The shadows hid me from harm.

To you it may be scary.

To me it has a certain charm.

You see I have felt it's embrace

In my body, soul and mind.

I pity those who don't see it.

I pity those who are blind.

Yes, it can hide and shield

things that go bump in the night.

But it can also hide from harm

Better than the light.

It is the place I shut down

And can shut off my troubled soul.

It doesn't expose my tears.

It allows me to be at peace alone.

There is a certain respect

To being wrapped in the warmth of the dark.

To allowing my feelings to crash around me

While being wrapped in shadow's arms.

Though I am not only the dark

I also hold the light

I can respect and love the shadows.

I can also love the night.