Dear Daddy (Part 4) Final By: Amanda K. Dudley-Penn

To my father, Eric Ray Dudley

Dear Daddy, I remember 

The day that I got the call.

You left me with a promise made.

You wouldn't be here at all.

Dear Daddy, you were troubled in life

but mysterious in death.

There is no way to know

why you took your last breath.

Dear Daddy, I'm sorry.

I can't fight this battle alone.

I've failed you I know.

But I tried to get it done.

Dear Daddy, I miss you

More than you know.

I wish I could know for sure

Why you had to go.

Dear Daddy, I love you.

Even though you sacrificed me.

For your girls, for a promise

But from that I'm free.

Dear Daddy, I suffer

in quiet and alone.

No one cares what happened.

No one cares what was done.

Dear Daddy, I'm weak.

I can't do anything else.

The guilt from that

Has been my own personal hell.

Dear Daddy, I'm hurt

Because no one else cared.

I feel so betrayed.

It feels so unfair.

Dear Daddy, I'm so sorry.

I can't help you.

Maybe someone else 

can help.  Maybe they'll find the truth.

Dear Daddy, to admit this

kills a part of my soul.

But I have to say goodbye

knowing justice will never be known.

Dear Daddy, I love you.

But I can't make them see.

I'm so sorry, Daddy.

Please forgive me.

Dear Daddy (Part 3) By: Amanda K. Dudley-Penn

For my father, Eric Ray Dudley

Dear Daddy, I remember

The trip to live with you.

I thought the pain was over.

I had dreams to pursue.

Dear Daddy, I remember 

The grin on your face.

Somehow that got lost 

In a darkened haze.

Dear Daddy, I understood

That you were hurt.

I understood I was sacrificed

because you couldn't lose her.

Dear Daddy, I don't blame you

for someone else's plans.

You were trapped like me.

It made it hard to stand.

Dear Daddy, you saved me

when you let me go.

Your sacrifice has gone

without being known.

Dear Daddy, I missed you

when we couldn't speak.

But I remember what you did

was because you loved me.

Dear Daddy, you left me

to save me from another's hurt.

You couldn't tell anyone

because they would tell her.

Dear Daddy, I love you

and you showed that you loved me.

You saved me from pain.

You allowed me to breathe.

Dear Daddy, thank you 

for keeping me alive.

For putting me first

At that time in my life.

Dear Daddy (Part Two) By: Amanda K. Dudley-Penn

To my father, Eric Ray Dudley

Dear Daddy, I remember well
When you were absent for while.
It was when that moment happened
when I was pushed from being a child.
Dear Daddy, I still remember
wishing for you to arrive.
Every day that passed,
I died a little inside.
Dear Daddy, I knew
you had another girl.
I would  have loved to see her
Another sister in this world.
Dear Daddy, I wrote to you
while you were gone.
But you've disappeared before.
From me and your son.
Dear Daddy, I missed you
And wondered when you'd return.
A girl's daddy is important.
It's a lesson hard learned.
Dear Daddy, I loved you then
And I love you even now.
I try to understand you
I try not to think foul.
Dear Daddy, another chapter closed.
Another soon began.
Another child affected.
Another took your hand.
Dear Daddy, I wish for you
to tell about your life.
But now, I just live
within a never-ending strife.

Dear Daddy (Part One) By: Amanda K. Dudley-Penn

To my father, Eric Ray Dudley

Dear Daddy, did you know
That I was told how you were?
How you held me and
cherished me after my birth.
Dear Daddy, I still remember
when we played.
I remember your laugh
But it never stayed.
Dear Daddy, I wished for you
when you were far from me.
I didn't understand then.
The pain I didn't see.
Dear Daddy, I waited for you
and watched the cars go by.
Those times you didn't come,
I had to force myself not to cry.
Dear Daddy, I wish I knew then
how to take away the hurt.
But when you're a little girl,
Things are fractured and blurred.
Dear Daddy, I look back and
understand what you went through.
I hope you know unconditionally
That I love you.
Dear Daddy, I won't forget
who you used to be.
Before the darkness
Took you away from me.

Story Untold By Amanda K. Dudley-Penn

For everyone who has ever suffered through depression

   As I look around me 

And force myself to move

I don't think anyone else would know 

The struggle I go through.

I move against a darkness 

That plagues me every day.

I force a smile through it 

Pushing the shadows far away.

Whispers of sadness come.

With them come disheartened tears.

And the doubts eventually reach out 

Bringing my worst fears.

The loneliness is too much

 But still, I continue on.

I will fight this evil 

Even when I feel desperate and alone.

I will never give in, 

Instead I will stand.

I will not reach out 

And take the devil's hand.

I will push through the shadows 

That plague my mind.

I will see through the darkness 

Even when it makes me blind.

I will remember the words 

To always live bold.  

I will not leave my book unwritten 

And my story untold.

What Do We Do? By Amanda K. Dudley-Penn

The wind of change 

Isn't always good.

Hatred is king.

No peace no love.

I gaze around.

People don't speak.

Held captive by lies.

Silence they seek.

Accused of the worst.

But meaning the best.

Gone is our freedom of speech.

Next is freedom of press.

People are dying.

No help is found.

Where is the truth.

Are you too proud? 

History goes round.

History repeats.

Innocence gone. 

Blood in the streets.

Silence is golden.

But I only see pain.

People are bought.

and put in invisible chains.

Difference isn't celebrated.

Instead it is cursed.

Tears fall from my eyes

As books are burned. 

Choices are condemned 

By the majority rule.

Bow down at his feet

You gave up your freedoms too.

I am looking for answers 

As the sky grows dark.

How did this happen?

How were we torn a part?

So, I'm searching for answers.

I'm searching for truth.

In a world so dark.

What do we do?

Dreams Came True By; Amanda K. Dudley-Penn

For my fellow dreamers. 

A breath, 

A heart beat,

A twist of fate.

A blink.

A choice.

A step to take.

A dream.

A belief.

You are enough.

A flex.

A push.

You are that tough.

A change.

A goal.

You follow through.

A prayer.

A smile.

Make your dreams true.

A fear.

A doubt.

You push it away.

A stand.

A hope. 

You make your way.

A breath.

A heartbeat.

A twist of fate.

A blink.

A choice.

Your step to take.

A dream. 

A belief.

You are enough.  

A flex.

A push.

Prove you're tough.

A change.

A goal.

You followed through.

A prayer.

A smile.

You're dreams came true.