Stronger Than This

A false smile to calm you

but my mind is a raging storm.

A crack in the surface of my soul

But trying to keep you from harm.

Jaded from the memories

That pierce my tortured mind.

Sometimes I wonder if they see through me

Or if it's more comfortable to be blind.

A chin raised in defiance

My rebellious nature is what helps me through.

A shattered mess on the inside. 

I don't want them to see me as weak too.

Another step, Another day

Of protecting those my heart holds.

I don't want to be like him

Another tragic tale to behold.

So I take another breath for them

Because I don't want them to feel my pain.

I shudder alone in the darkness

With only words on paper to keep me sane.

Tears where no one can see them

Gritted teeth in my sleep.

Reliving memories of tortured souls

Who put more torture on me.

But I'm supposed to forget it all

So you don't hold your head in shame.

An embarrassment for other's faults

The only one to shoulder the blame.

But the past always haunts you

Even when you want to push it away.

Popping up in fractured dreams

And sometimes in the light of day.

I have to remember to stay silent.

It always hurts when I speak.

I have to remember to stand tall

And take all the misery on me.

Nothing is ever done 

But let them think it's okay.

If I pretend to ignore it

At least for them, it will go away.

Then, at least the pain will ebb

And they will live in perfect bliss.

I take a breath, put on a mask

And decide to be stronger than this.